Jokes on Time

I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?What Time is it?BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.Here is a small collection of jokes that have either a direct or indirect connection with watches and time. Some jokes are new other are old but all of them will surely make you smile. If you know some other jokes on this topic feel free to write them as comments. Mechanical and quartz watches is a very serious topic to talk about, so why not make it a little more entertaining. Keep on smiling and the the world will smile at you.Don's WisdomAn old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me.

Quotes on Time

I cannot be dictated to by a watch." (Jane Austen)"Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours."(Mark Twain)"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."(Will Rogers)"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But, it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." (Winston Churchill)"A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure." (Lee Segall)"Time makes more converts than reason."(Thomas Paine) "Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. "(Captain Jean-Luc Picard)"No time like the present."(Mrs. Manley) "Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day." (Polish Proverb)"Time is the mother and murderer of all things.""Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.""Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once""The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once."(Albert Einstein)"Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it."(Leonardo Da Vinci)"Dictionaries are like watches; the worst is better than none, and the best cannot be expected to be quite true." (Samuel L. Jackson)"The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours."(Arthur Lacey)"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."(Douglas Adams)"Oh! Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. c

New Watch for Professional Explorers

The redesigned watch model sports a bi-directional rotating bezel with 24-hour graduation. The Kobold specialists based the bezel's minute-graduated ratcheting system upon three ceramic ball bearings that is more effective than a common system applying click-springs. It makes the bezel well protected from dirt and freezing moisture that could lock it up.The Polar Surveyor is presented on a corresponding Soarway bracelet provided with a patented screw-locked system. The timepiece comes in a wooden Kobold's collector's box that offers enough room for two more watches. The set also comprises a professional-grade canvas strap and two screwdrivers to change bands. Sir Ranulth Fiennes, a 63-year old British explorer, has been Kobold's brand-ambassador since 1999, the year of the company's inception. The explorer has worn the Polar surveyor during every of his exploits. The Polar Surveyor's caliber is responsible for the regular timing and chronograph functions and displaying time for a second time zone, a function used by explorers for keeping in touch with the rest of the world.Kobold Polar Surveyor Chronograph features the brand's signature Soarway case crafted from stainless steel.

New Watch for Professional Explorers

The Polar Surveyor Chronograph has been developed by the Kobold Company to meet the utmost needs of professional explores. The initial version of the Polar Surveyor was created in collaboration with Sir Ranulph Fiennes, 'the world's greatest living explorer' as stated by the Guinness Book of World Records.The Kobold Polar Surveyor has accompanied explorers on numerous expeditions to the North and South Pole as a really functional wrist instrument. The newly designed rugged chronograph features a stainless steel case with a bi-directional 24-hour rotating bezel. The watch offers perfect readability due to matte-finish dial with luminous markers. The Polar Surveyor displays local time as well as a GMT/UTC-based second time zone. In addition, the watch provides the date and the chronograph function with the elapsed seconds, minutes and hours. The watch is driven by the brand's specially developed caliber K.751. To develop the mechanism Kobold has totally reworked the ETA 7750, appreciated as one of the most reliable and accurate chronographs ever created.The Polar Surveyor Chronograph has been developed by the Kobold Company to meet the utmost needs of professional explores

Omega Announces new Seamaster Planet Ocean Diver Watch

Co-Axial Escapement (reduces friction, improves long-term accuracy, and increasesservice intervals).Available in May of this year for an undisclosed price.Sign me up for an orange one with a stainless steel bracelet, just like in thepicture. I'll post more information when it's available from Omega's site.There's not a lot of information available yet on Omega's new Seamaster PlanetOcean divers, but here's what I know so far:Stainless steel case (available in 42mm and 45.5mm).Stainless steel bracelet with folding safety clasp, rubber strap, or alligatorleather.Unidirectional rotating bezel (inner third brushed aluminum, outer two-thirdsblack or orange).Sapphire crystal.Date.Luminescent (SuperLuminova) hands and markers.48-hour power reserve.Water resistant to 600 meters (2000 feet).